Housekeeping 11 November 2005

No more postings on this site until I return to London... Assuming I am allowed to return! In the meantime my blog is at http://paulincognito.blogspot.com. Thanks for reading...

Art: Rubens

One thing I didn't miss was the National Gallery latest blockbuster Rubens – A master in the making. I caught it yesterday evening. It is a collection of his earliest works and a great show indicating how his style developed and evolved. There are some very dramatic paintings including the recently discovered "lost Rubens" that sold for £45million in 2001. The way the paintings are displayed is a tad shambolic and suggests they were a little rushed in putting it all together but it was a great early evening diversion.

Scenes from Paddington tube Wednesday 18:39 - Lard-arses waiting for the tube with a box of Krispy Kremes... 

Last thoughts...

As it turns out, today is my last day in London. Tonight I fly back to Australia. Whether this is a permanent arrangement or a temporary one I will find out in a couple of weeks, so it is probably worth making a list of…

Things I will miss (in no particular order):

• The weather. It has been fine and mild, and as the leaves are now starting to fall it looks all rather pleasant. I will be returning to Australia (Brisbane in particular) where it is hot, sticky and glaringly bright. When I tell English people about this they look at me and say "Oh yes I can see how you just can't stand the prospect of returning…"


• Public transport that sort of works. Actually even with its problems it is still by far the most civilised public transport I have encountered in all my travels.


• The parks the greenery and all that goes with that


• British Television. Series three of Little Britain is about to commence. Darn.


• Marks and Spencer food. By far the most edible and doesn't taste like they made it with their feet.


• My gym. Even by London standards it was pretty "out there".

Things I won't miss so much (again in no particular order):

• A fried chicken store on every corner with that lovely aroma of week-old vegetable shortening wafting out of it


• Sandwiches that appear to be soaked in mayonnaise.


• Hard water


• Being accosted by beggars and Big Issue sellers (wait a moment, that will happen in Brisbane too)  


• Shitty coffee

So it will be over and out from Paul in London. And over to http://paulincognito.blogspot.com

Scenes from Tooting Common Tuesday 11:46. One of those fine crisp autumn days...  

Theatre: Glorious

On Monday evening I caught the play Glorious, which is playing at the Duchess Theatre in Covent Garden. The play is based on the last year in the life of Florence Foster Jenkins. Florence Foster Jenkins was a rich woman who staged her own opera recitals in New York in the 1940s. The only problem with that was that she was tone deaf. She also made records of her performances and her album of butchered arias is no doubt the reason for her lasting appeal and the reason this play was made.

Maureen Lipman starred in the title role and was quite hilarious. It was quite amusing watching her antics and the highlight definitely was her recreation of the "Queen of the Night Aria" from the Magic Flute. Florence on record sounded like a strangled Chihuahua and Lipman equally rises to the challenge. She isn't singing Oklahoma here…

In her recitals Florence put on some rather extravagant costumes (that she made herself) and threw flowers out at the audience. She often got so carried away that she threw flowers at audience members with gusto and then threw the basket into the audience. A month before her death she also sold-out Carnegie hall in a one-night-only show that became the stuff of legend. So there was plenty of inspiration for comic material.

In between the great "performances" the script was less interesting and full of jokes that probably played well in Birmingham (where the production originated) but seemed a little bit obvious for jaded London theatregoers. It could have done with a bit of a trim (and maybe inserting another song or two), but it still made for a rather fun night out. The best line was one of Florence's quotes: "People may say I can't sing, but no one can ever say I didn't sing". Hmm… It was also worth seeing as I don't think it will be around too long. Even though it has had great reviews I suspect it isn't the sort of thing that will pack in the punters…

Scenes from G-A-Y at the Astoria Sunday 02:08. Jason Donnovan singing live. The photo can't capture the horror a gaunt, aged poxy-ridden (he had some sort of flu) man he actually was. Guess those years of class A drugs took their toll... The punters loved Jason, but I think I was too sober to get into that. Oh to be at the Astoria on the wrong night. In two weeks time Madge will be there performing live to plug her new album release "Confessions on A Dance Floor"... Timing is everything... 

Theatre: Macbeth and the night of woodies

On Friday evening I caught the opportunity to see the travelling production of Macbeth at the Almedia. It was a one-man version of the show starring Stephen Dillane (he starred opposite Nicole in The Hours). Alas it wasn't the most interesting of shows to see. The words pretentious and rubbish come to mind when describing it. You have to hand it to a director who manages to strip all the nuances and power from a story and just leave you there trying to work out what's going on while an actor changes voice, speaks in French at times (a French lady Macbeth anyone – ooh la lah!), and fights to be heard above music screeches that were composed specifically for this production.

It is the sort of show however that some people have loved, and its short run is practically sold out. I wondered how some of the audience managed to applaud after 100 minutes of squirming and restlessness. I didn't. It was the first time since seeing the English foghorn Elaine Paige that I wanted to boo. I decided non applause and folding my arms with the production's luvvies surrounding me was enough of a statement.

Actually the only thing I did like about it was the black sand which formed the basis of the stage. It looked great and Dillane writhed and wriggled all over it which was interesting to watch. One of the more interesting aspects of the evening was that Woody Harrelson was in the audience. He will be appearing in Night of the Iguana which is set to open on the West End shortly. He showed up wearing trainers and a track suit and beanie to watch this show (no best dressed awards there). Before the curtain went up he also went to the bathroom and it was there as I was wiping my hands that I heard a fart emanating from the cubicle he was in. So there you have it. First case of celebrity flatulence I have heard all the time while being in London. Let's hope it won't be the last.