Scenes from Regent Street Saturday 01:14. 

Scenes from Picadilly Circus Saturday 01:10 - Catching the night bus home 

All fun and games

Given all the fun in the last month about politicians and their gay sex romps, a new internet game has been doing the rounds. It is actually fairly tame as the object is to tickle as many rent boys as possible, and in this case the reality was far far more sordid. Still it would be a career-challenging move to open it at your workplace…

Overheard at the Gym on Thursday...

Man #1: How long have you been coming here?
Man #2: Since Christmas…
Man #1: Oh really?
Man #2: Yeah…
Man #1: What'd you do tonight?
Man #2: Pecs

Theatre: Shuman Plan

On Monday night I was unfortunate enough to find myself watching the Schuman Plan at the Hampstead Theatre. For a major theatre with its own artistic director it was a little odd that they were presenting something that seemed like a high school drama class production. It was earnest enough to be one. The only difference I could see was that it lacked youthful energy and acne. Huge slabs of dialogue were taken up with political history and there was at some point a character playing former PM Ted Heath mincing it up with "Land of Hope and Glory" playing loudly in the background. Oh at this point it is probably worth mentioning Schuman was the French Minister who came up with the idea that would become the basis for the European Union.

A was a bit annoyed that we went to see crap theatre. But I thought it had potential as a story but the writer decided to ignore all that and focus on a polemic about Britain in the EU instead. Schuman didn't feature at all. It was just as well I nodded off at various points in the first half as that made it more bearable. I should have taken heed that the writer's previous work was a musical about the Eurovision Song Contest. Maybe he'll have better luck next time. Michael Frayn was in the audience and served an interesting reminder as to what good writers can do with political dramas (see "Democracy" and "Copenhagen").

On the way home we debated how the critics would see it. I anticipated that it would be a unanimous pan. And the Telegraph, and The Financial Times did, but someone from the Independent thought it was entertaining. Maybe they stayed for the canapes afterwards which did go down well…

Scenes from the Barbican Sunday 22:32. A chilly and quiet evening for all...  

Film: Munich

I caught Munich on Sunday which was an amazing experience. Part of the movie reminded me of those classic movies from the 1970s about conspiracies, paranoia and brutal murders. Actually there was so much testosterone in this flick that at one point I wanted to tell the two annoying people behind me to "stop kicking the back of the fucking seat!" Mindful that after seeing a whole season of "The Sopranos" late last year and then for the next week I couldn't stop saying expletives (such as "I'm going to get some fucking water") I decided to put up with the annoying cinema goers and not create a scene.

Anyway the film was brilliant and no doubt will become a classic in its own right (but maybe not straight away). The acting, storytelling and filmmaking were all incredible. There was enough politics on both sides to give some insight into the motivations of it all. And perhaps there was a modern day morality tale in it that Spielberg sought for all of us to reflect upon…

Scenes from outside Clapham Common Tube Saturday 16:49. People get really excited about the Clapham high street for some unknown reason. It really is a a tarmac jungle at this part... Outside the tube is also the best spot to be if you want to get your phone nicked by young lads riding on bikes at high speed...

Silly Soho bar bitches

American Man: You're from Brooklyn?
Ad: No I'm from Brisbane
American Man: Shouldn't you be wearing a t-shirt that says Brisbane not Brooklyn then?
Ad: What do you mean?
American Man: What's that you are wearing?
Ad: Clothes…

Scenes from Charing Cross Tube Northern Line Wednesday 21:37. A slight modification to the station artwork involving a badly drawn iPOD. Then again, no Londoner should be without one... 

Scenes from the Thames Wednesday 21:06. Tourists on the Jubilee Bridge = 2, Temperature = -2 

Scenes from the National Gallery Wednesday 16:09. Looking towards Whitehall and Big Ben. Temperature somewhere above freezing. Just... 

Scenes from Earls Court Tube District Line Eastbound Sunday 20:44. Earls Court used to be the ghetto for Australians, until rising prices forced them to move further north and west. You still see the odd antipodean living around here, but not as many... Nowadays the 18 Aussies living in a bedsit scenario is more likely to be in Hammersmith...  

Scenes from Holland Park W8 Sunday 16:14 - On a fine sunny Sunday why do one park in a day when you can visit at least another, this time in the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea. A park so posh that there are sandpits at all the entrances discreetly signed "dog toilet" (no doubt so the small children found in the park don't get any ideas about making sand castles there)...  

Scenes from Clapham Common Sunday 13:51 - An afternoon in the winter sun...  

Scenes from Oxford St W1 Saturday 16:36 - Shopping is a popular pasttime on Oxford St when you get to the one or two shops on the street worth visiting... Of course everybody loves John Lewis...  

Music on the weekend...

In amongst the domesticated shopping for bits and pieces today I did manage to stop by and say hi to Barbara Cook in Dress Circle today (or at least get her autograph). Since Dress Circle is such a temple for devotees of musical theatre it was very nice to see her stop by. I didn't buy her latest album which is a tribute to her long-time accompanist and collaborator Wally Harper (I saw them both in concert in 2004 but he passed away last year) but an earlier album. but most importantly I did get her autograph. A asked whether my life was complete as a Barbara Cook groupie and I had to think about that for a minute, but she is one of the great cabaret performers of our time.

Oh and to just mix it up a little I also went to Trax Records in Soho and picked up Wayne G's version of "I just wanna fucking dance". The song was originally from "Jerry Springer the Opera" and was the highlight of the show. It was recorded over a year and a half ago by Alison Jier who originated in the stage role but has alas never had a commercial release. It is nice to see it live on as a fantastic dance track and seems to be picking up in popularity now thanks to the heavy playing in the gay clubs of Oz and the UK...

Television: Big Brother V George

Celebrity Big Brother finished tonight with the winner being the only non-celebrity in the house. The choice of winner was easy really since she was the only slightly human person in the freakshow of has-beens desperately trying to kick-start their careers that were assembled in the house.

Still the highlight of the series will be the participation from rabid loony left-wing politician George Galloway. While in the Big Brother house he impersonated a pussy, danced around in a red leotard and basically showed he was a bit of a slimeball. It was fantastic act of political suicide and at last evidence that reality television is a force for good in the world.

George says he has no regrets about his involvement in the show, but already this week cat food has been delivered to his house and office twice. Unless he was setting himself up for a career in Puss in Boots in the Christmas Pantomimes it would have to be one of the great political miscalculations of the year.

Film: Brokeback Mountain

I caught Brokeback Mountain this evening. Like so many others I had been referring to the film as Bareback Mountain and I was quite surprised that within the first hour of the film it lived up to its name…

By this point the film seemed to be more about that category of men that exists who identify as straight but just have sex with men – MSNs on the Wyoming mountains is probably not the best place to have safe sex outreach workers – particularly given all the bears that exist there. Anyway over the next two hours the story does get a little more involved, but it is more about what is not spoken that really starts making you wonder about the characters…

The film has been doing well here in London, and it is probably more to do more with how well the story is told rather than its subject matter. But surely it should also serve as a cautionary tale to wives who let their husbands go to Wyoming to fish on long weekends?

Scenes from Clapham Common Tube Sunday 15:24. I have moved to SW4 and it is cold... Just another January really... 

Scenes from the London Art Fair, Islington Saturday 16:05. When moving, one should always break up the monotony of the move with something else. The Art Fair was on in London and apart from whale watching on the Thames, it seemed to be the thing to do... 

Scenes from the Royal Opera House Friday 19:23 - Just before curtain up on Smetana's "The Bartered Bride" one had to finish the champagne. A great production with an excellent English translation. Although the set was a bit plain looking there were dancing bears and fire juggling to brighten it up a bit... 

Theatre: The Late Henry Moss

On Thursday evening I had the opportunity to see the Sam Shepard play The Late Henry Moss at the Almeida Theatre. The first thing you notice about this production is what a fantastic set it is. It is probably the best stage I have seen since seeing Two Thousand Years at the National Theatre. There was so much detail in it that it was fascinating to look at even before the actors walked on stage.

The story of the play is two sons who come back to New Mexico to find their alcoholic father dead. But it really isn't the plot that makes the play so interesting, but the dialogue and interplay between the brothers and the locals who last saw their father alive. The acting was naturally terrific and the play unfolded like a good family domestic.

After the first half however those around me weren't sure the play was their cup of tea, but during the second half I took a glance at the rest of the audience, and it was clear people were sitting on the edge of their seats hanging on to everything that was going on stage.

Worth noting is the one female character (played by Flaminia Cinque) in this piece. There is full-frontal nudity as she jumps into a bath and splashes about – so much so that the front row near the bath got wet. I wasn't that close enough but given the theatre is an intimate space it did feel more intimate at this point. But audience participation in the story didn't end there. In the second half there was a flashback involving the father spitting out booze and wetting another front-row audience member.

Anyway, as this was my second Sam Shepard play (I saw Buried Child last year), I could consider myself a bit of a fan of his works. His sublime dialogue is really something. A favourite line from the night (to roughly paraphrase) was when one brother sneered to the other, "If I had a secret family why would I tell you about it?" Now that's something to think about…

Scenes from a creepy London flat. One of the things that happens when you sign up to various websites offering flatshares is that people email you photos of hideous rooms like this one. It was in N4 and it looks like bathroom tiles covered in gold paint with Ikea blue lights and grandma's old bed (with perhaps her sheets too).

Incidentally as I was in Australia for two months some people have noted that I had flattened my vowells considerably. So much so that when I was talking about gayshare they thought I was saying geisha. I said to them not to worry, I was working on my novel Memoirs of a Gayshare.

The move is on...

I think it may be all sorted now, but this weekend I have been auditioning for a place to live. It is such a beauty contest where you have to show that you have personality yet are considerate in about half an hour. By Sunday I was over it.

For various reasons (and much to the horror of some northern friends) I have decided to go for "sarf London" rather than "noorf London". I don't get this divide based on the Thames. I have seen rubbish on either side of the Thames so I think it is all a bit silly.

Anyway, I did have the opportunity to live in the north but decided against it. There were two reasons: price and the most hideous shocking bathroom I have ever seen. It was a tough decision I could have lived in zone one near Kings Cross Station (an area Time Out recently described as "up and coming" so that counts for something surely) overlooking Regent's Canal. It was very quiet and not bad looking for a semi-industrial-ripe-for-regeneration area.

I could have also shared with a lovely butch lesbian from Adelaide and her kelpie. What was not going for it was that the landlady who owned the place must have done some heavy drugs when she decorated the bathroom. Rather than replace worn out tiles as they started to fall off she stuck circular mirrors and bubble glass on in such a haphazard manner that now the lot was cracking and falling off. Jagged and broken mirrors stuck out from the wall. The ceiling also had holes punched in it with bits of plasterboard dangling down, and poking through was what appeared to be Christmas tree lights. So for the price, I said no. I said no to the flat with the canal view and the lesbian and her dog as the landlord had fucked up the shower. There is a lesson in that for all of us I am sure…

Theatre: Pillars of the Community

I had the chance to catch three hours of Ibsen yesterday – Pillars of the Community – at the National Theatre. It was a fantastic new translation, but A thought I was only interested in it because Lesley Manville who plays Lona Hessel wears some fantastic costumes and at the end is wearing a red dress surrounded by heavy rainfall. And it wasn't me who started jumping up and down in his seat (as much as one can do this in fourth row centre) when the dishy hero walked in… Anyway it was engaging stuff.

Later when we went to pick up our things at the cloakroom…

Paul (handing the attendant the number): There are two coats and a bag…
A (to the attendant): Actually there are just two coats. He is the bag.

Scenes from Tottenham Court Road Tube Saturday 19:23 - The long walk down the stair shaft... 99 steps... 

Scenes from Tooting Common Thursday 08:09 - a frosty reception going to work...