News: Bicycling

Rabid cyclists are an everyday hazzard on London roads and footpaths. If they aren't trying to run you down while you're crossing the road, they are attempting to steal your mobile while you're talking on it and walking down Clapham High Street.

Now there is a plan to teach cyclists and drivers not to jump red lights... Next year there will be a plan to teach drivers that the green light thingy means it is safe to proceed... In the longer term there is a plan to teach drivers how to drive down a street without clipping the external mirrors on parked cars...

Of course silly cycle stories pale in comparison to the news of Steve Irwin's death, which promoted a flurry of tributes on websites including one on a BBC newsgroup which said, "He will be truly mist and never forgotten for his dangerous moves on camera with animals..." Crikey indeed...

Scenes from the Barbican Gate 9 Sunday 17:20

It is all very straight forward getting out of the Barbican... Sort of... Finding one's way home after catching the last day of the Satirical London exhibition at the Museum of London.

Overheard on the N155 Bus Saturday...

Man on phone: Well when I say I'm with people I mean all the other people on the 155 bus to Tooting. I mean they're like strangers you know…

Scenes from outside Mary Poppins Saturday 17:04

Rickshaws waiting for the matinee to end...

Scenes from Clapham Common Saturday 15:06

Pissing on trees in Clapham Common is a popular pasttime since there are more toilets on the common closed and boarded up than open.

An AFL event on the common today however had a solution by providing two portaloos... But despite theses valiant attempts by the organisers, man's desire to wee in the open continued...

Customer service at a Clapham shoe repair store...

Man: Your shoes will be ready next week.
Paul: Ok that's fine.
Man: When would you like to pick them up?
Paul: I'll pick them up next Saturday…
Man: They will be ready by Wednesday…
Paul: Ok then I'll pick 'em up on Wednesday then!
Man: And that's £10 deposit too…

Theatre: Sunday in the Park with George (again)

S was in town on Friday so I took him to the third-last performance of Sunday in the Park with George, which also made it the third time I had seen the production.

This time with front-row day seats it was a very up close experience. The cast is amazing in this production and there was an incredible chemistry between leads Daniel Evans and Jenna Russell. Russell was in tears at the end of the performance which isn't surprising given the emotional demands of the role, but also perhaps the result that this amazing production closes tonight. It is closing too soon but the full house last night made their appreciation known to the whole cast and production team with cheers and a standing ovation... Oh well, it is time to move on... But at least there is a cast recording available of this production...

Idle Chatter at the Tate Modern Friday...

After a little bit of wine and a bit of jetlag on the part of those around me, a conversation about family, Lutherans and lamingtons ensued...

Scenes from the National Theatre Friday 13:40

The punters love a free concert, and today was the Puppini Sisters. They have an Andrews Sisters schtick that they take to songs like 'Libertango' and 'I will survive' which was sort of funny and entertaining for a free concert, but they are getting a bit of a following around London and their album is available on iTunes...

Scenes from Southbank Friday 13:32

Southbank
Originally uploaded by Pauly_.


The tourist and the traveller with jetlag...

Idle Tuesday Chatter...

Paul: I think I’m being stalked by a man from the Gujarat province…
An: Really? What’s his name?
Paul: It’s Parool but I don't know his last name...
An: His last name must be Shah as everyone’s name from the Gujarat province ends in Shah...
Paul: Really?
An: Absolutely. And they call homosexuals Gay Shahs…

Scenes from Leicester Square Tube Monday 22:28

A religious service was operating on the Piccadilly Line this evening... In the name of the father, the SPAD and TfL, one got home safely...

Scenes from Clapham "The Pavement" Monday 13:04

After dancing all night by lunchtime Monday one really fancied a tart...

Scenes from Barcode Vauxhall Sunday 22:41

It was bank holiday weekend so it was the time to be dancing yeah (and to be dazzled by dem pretty lights)...

Scenes from Clapham South Tube Sunday 21:36

Beer and chips that didn't make it... Forks complimentary...

Scenes from a Soho Bar Saturday 20:48

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Originally uploaded by Pauly_.


There was this little wooden man...

Scenes from Clapham Common Saturday 17:19

The common is a little busier this weekend with the 2-day Metro Weekender on. Punters without a ticket to the event (which sold out) could sort of pick up the music just outside the fenced off area...

If the amount of news space devoted on the subject are any measure, the locals seem to get very excited about the noise that is generated from the handful of concerts staged every year on the common. Depending on how the wind blows, it seems to be either muffled noise or nothing at all... One unintented consequence of these concerts is some very good looking people descend upon SW4 and that can only be a good thing surely...?

Scenes from a Brixton Bar Friday 19:42

Scenes from a Brixton Bar Friday 19:42
Originally uploaded by Pauly_.

Cocktail hour...

Catch phrase of the week...

I miss you like tiramisu.

Film: A Scanner Darkly

I caught the movie A Scanner Darkly on Wednesday evening. Based on Phillip K Dick's novel and set seven years in the future in California where the war on terror and the war on drugs seem to have merged as the same threat. The film was a trippy sort of story full of paranoia and hallucinations. It was probably deliberate that it all didn't make sense until the last half hour or so.

It was also a film that was shot normally and then animated using a process called interpolated rotoscoping which added to the dreamlike feel to it… In the end I kind of liked it as it was like a graphic novel. The only problem I really had with it was that it was a bit hard to take a movie about drugs featuring Robert Downey Jr and Winnona Ryder… It felt like watching a sensitive documentary on the holocaust narrated by Mel Gibson or Tom Cruise doing a community awareness spot on depression: just all wrong and a distraction.

The author acknowledges at the end of the film all the people who have done drugs over the years that he has know that are either dead or with liver failure, mental illness, bowels that don't function or some other problem… A nice message to send the audience out of the theatre with…  

News: Poppy seed cake is popular nowadays...

All the news today is about the 420,000 Eastern European migrants who have come to the UK since enlargement of the EU in May 2004. This number does not include self-employed individuals. They didn't all try to settle in London (after all it is the antipodeans that have 18 people living in a bed-sit in Dollis Hill), the migration patterns appear to have covered all over the UK – with a particular focus on the Anglia region…

Overheard on the 255 Clapham Omnibus Tuesday evening...

Man on phone: Yeah he was just… He was just… He was just… He was just "Well you can just go to Dubai"…

Overheard at the gym sauna Saturday...

Lad #1: Hey your middle toe is longer then your big toe…
Lad #2: Yeah I know. That Mexican bird who did me a manicure mentioned it…
Lad #1: You mean pedicure…
Lad #2: Oh yeah…

Scenes from Clapham South tube Sunday 22:15

Scenes from Clapham South tube Sunday 22:15
Originally uploaded by Pauly_.

Going up...

Theatre: The Seagull

Friday night I caught The Seagull at the National Theatre. It is a new version of the Chekhov play by Martin Crimp that has been getting good notices but not so great audiences as they have been discounting tickets to get the punters in.

Juliet Stevenson as Arkadina the fading leading leady features in a great cast in a story about artists and the new Turks, unrequited and lost love. Her son Konstantin is a new writer and is in love with Nina but Arkadina's lover Trigorin steals her away. Meanwhile Masha is in love with Konstantin but it is unrequited. In between the high drama there are a lot of things unsaid but then again this is Russia and Chekhov.

The ending (spoiler to follow) left a lot of people dazed and startled when it ends in the suicide of Konstantin offstage with a loud bang. It certainly made me jump. Arkadina barely has enough time to scream at the news before the curtain came down. We all filed out of the theatre not saying much… Maybe the drama felt a little too real…

As for the title, it isn't actually a direct translation of Chekhov's original name. But all English translators have felt that it was more appropriate, particularly when Nina utters the line "I am a seagull". The alternate – "I am a puffin" – doesn't quite convey the same impact for a serious drama I suppose…

Film: The History Boys

Preview for the film version of The History Boys is out now. It will open in London in October and there is already a huge buzz behind it. When I saw the play in April 2005 apart from thinking it was the best thing I have ever seen on stage, I also thought it definitely deserved to be turned into a film… Original cast all feature in the film including Frances de la Tour. For reason (that now escapes me) last year I decided not to mention her name in my post but talked about her character. She got the Tony this year for this performance…

Friday email banter...

From: R
Sent: 18 August 2006 17:32
To: Paul
Subject: Re:
you are like a fione wione me dear…. full bodied and fresh.....haaaaaahhhhhhh
----
From: Paul
Sent: 18 August 2006 17:33
To: R
Subject: Re:
Really? And I thought I was more like vinaigrette... Good to have around with lettuce...
----
From: R
Sent: 18 August 2006 17:34
To: Paul
Subject: Re:
you calling me lettuce
----
From: Paul
Sent: 18 August 2006 17:38
To: R
Subject: Re:
Like a roquet...
----
From: R
Sent: 18 August 2006 17:41
To: Paul
Subject: Re:
any blue cheese involved here or just a salad medley
----
From: Paul
Sent: 18 August 2006 17:50
To: R
Subject: Re:
Tossed salad... Maybe some blue vein...
----
From: R
Sent: 18 August 2006 17:52
To: Paul
Subject: Re:
oh my god I have just spat tea out all over my desk.....
----
It was one of those days…

Scenes from Old Compton St Soho Wednesday 20:11

Police seal off the street after a noxious substance was found eminating from Comptons bar. It wasn't flatulence from the punters (which wouldn't have been a surprise looking at the punters that go there), but to date nobody can quite explain what the gas was...

News: Big Bush in Brixton

Keeping in SW2, the big news today was that a man who trimmed his hedge into the shape of a whale could keep doing so, providing that it wasn't a blue whale size… Given that it is topiary it does require a little imagination to make out it is a whale. Some people have mistaken it for a peacock… Others have mistaken it for a hedge owned by a loony…

Scenes from a pub toilet in SW2...

I'm not quite sure what this is all about... Was it somebody's experience with a skilled tradesperson? Photo was taken in the ladies by M...

Scenes from Clapham Sunday 20:04

Scenes from Clapham Sunday 20:04
Originally uploaded by Pauly_.

It was a bit of a cold and damp weekend... But it no doubt was nice to get the Porsche washed... I am not quite sure why everyone living on this street owns a black car... Maybe it is an SW4 thing...

Scenes from a bus on Oxford Street Saturday 17:18

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Originally uploaded by Pauly_.

Despite the sales concluding last week, people still persist in shopping on Oxford Street...

I only go there for the John Lewis store and the egyptian cotton sheets... Ahhhhhhhhhhh...

News: We're critical how are you?

As travelers come to grips with what it means to be living in a CRITICAL security threat level, there is heated debate on the Newsnight website about the raids. Some people are sceptical about intelligence after Forrest Gate, Stockwell and many other recent arrests where suspected terrorists were subsequently let go. Others are troubled by the fact that under normal security measures does that mean you could smuggle nasty things on board? Newsnight is a fantastic news programme and I figured it was about time I made reference to the show on my blog.

 

The news media in this country is such a relief from the hysterics of back home or in the US. I was only in New York for a week and I felt impending doom based on the way they managed to inject fear and armageddon in every news

 

And for those of you asking if I have been affected by the new security measures I have to declare that I won't be taking breast milk on flights... But I am not flying in August anyway... Shocking time to be travelling any year...

Travel: News on Heathrow at 9.00 BST

Hand luggage is banned from flights today as the highest security in recent times is implemented following the discovery of a plot to blow up planes mid-flight. Liquids and electronic items are a particular focus of the ban…

Heathrow is closed at present to all incoming flights.

Scenes from Harlequin Saturday 23:16

This picture is really an excuse to show tits with tassels on my blog (as I don't think I have had the opportunity to do this before), but at the Harlequin bar on Saturday night in Brighton there was an excellent cabaret act from Dave Lynn and Lola Lasagne... They sang, they danced (sort of) and provided a lot of laughs...

What the straight woman was doing wearing this in a bar full of gays, lesbians, bi and trans persons is anyone's guess. It did cause a bit of a stir when the lesbians in the audience wanted to get a bit closer... A doctor behind me wanted to inspect first hand if one breast was bigger than the other but she was held back...

But it wasn't all drag acts for the evening. Later J and I moved on to Monkey where apart from it being warm enough that a sudden turn of your head would make beads of sweat fly across the room, a gentlemen latched onto me in what would have to be best described as a k-hole-induced-koala-hug and would not let go. I wasn't quite sure of what the etiquette is in these situations... Well the music was fun and we were all having a good time but who needs to deal with that on your night out? Thankfully his friends rescued him before he became a dead weight...

Scenes from Brighton Pride Saturday 19:02

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Originally uploaded by Pauly_.

After a long day in the park in those heels one would need a nap...

Scenes from Brighton Pride Saturday 17:47

Matching black and white kilts were popular among the 150,000 plus punters in Brighton for Brighton Pride this weekend...

As to be expected for a free pride event the place was heaving (including the bushes towards the back of the park) but full of people having picnics, buying overpriced fake sunglasses, having the odd drink or taking the odd vitamin...