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Still here: While They Were Waiting - Upstairs At The Gatehouse

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As the song goes, time heals everything. Or as another song says, it's time after time. Yet waiting—for a moment, a minute, or even a while—can feel like a chore. In Gary Wilmot’s slightly absurd and silly While They Were Waiting, the focus is on waiting and wordplay. No opportunity is missed to find more than one meaning in what is said. A debate arises about the difference between a smidge and a whisker. There's a playful riff on how you can be here and over there at the same time, depending on your standpoint. If this piece has a point at all, it depends on what you find funny. The concept of waiting-related language is, in itself, amusing, and there is plenty to laugh about in this show. It’s currently playing at Upstairs at the Gatehouse . The premise is simple: Mulbery (Steve Furst) arrives for an appointment and is kept waiting. What the appointment is for, we are not clear about but he is waiting for a yellow door to open. Nobody answers when he rings. He’s joined by th...
Idle Friday Chatter #1

Scene: As Paul heads out to lunch he waits at the traffic lights at Brixton. A police siren suddenly goes off and the woman beside him lets out a shriek

Mad woman on the street: Oh this place I can't stand it it's 'orrible, it's too noisy and I just can't take it anymore. I just can't take it anymore and I think I'm about to lose it. And that woman on the bench over there yeah she just said to me that I need a long hard screw and they are all just taking cocaine and this place is a mess and I just can't take it anymore and I think one more thing and I am just going to lose it I really am I am really just going to really lose it....

Her voice trails off as Paul crosses the street and walks away faster and faster... all the while trying to remember the minute details of monologue...

Idle Friday Chatter #2

Scene: Friday afternoon in the office, F has just returned from the ladies...

F: Ethel from accounts doesn't blend her blush. I saw her in the toilet caking it on and she looks like... She looks like one of those porcelain dolls... It just looks un-natural!
Paul: Unless that is the look she's going for... Either that or whore on the high street...

*not her real name or occupation

Idle Friday Chatter #3

Scene: Friday evening in Soho. Paul is with A (Eurostarguy) and have entered a café for a late night hot chocolate. Entering the café laughing and carrying on (as one does on a sensible Friday evening) A heads to the mens room and Paul sashays over to a seat in the corner and flops down as if he has had a few too many "lemonades" for the evening. As he takes a menu he glances up and sees that his ex is sitting opposite alone and dressed like a chav.

Ex: Hi Paul
Paul: Er hi there.
Ex: You're looking well. Much better than last time I saw you. You looked a bit tired then...

Paul does not return a back-handed compliment as (a) he is not quick witted enough and (b) he thinks his ex looks like shit. In fact Paul does not say much more. Ex eventually gets up and leaves.


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