Paul in London

Man #1: She now has a dog Man #2: What sort? Man #1: It's a poodle. A little one. And I don't want it pissing all over my flat. Man #2: They do that you know. They piss everywhere. And shit...

Woman: Oh yes that's my sort of thing Man: What that? Woman: Yeah that's my sort of thing when I'm talking about abstract landscapes...

Woman (arriving at checkout with a lot of greens) : Don't laugh, but I have an unhealthy obsession with cucumbers. Well... I guess it is healthy...

Woman #1: My idea of heaven is walking around a Marks and Spencers... Woman #2: I have been quite fond of walking 'round a Morrison's in the past... Woman #1: Yeah but there just isn't one 'round our way...

Girl on the telephone : I was like, "Excuse me but what kind of professional goes back and looks at detail like that?" I actually hate him... Just a little bit...

Man: There are elements of the play that just allow for those sorts of pathos... Woman: Yes I would have to agree there Man: Of course for other people it would be like oh yeah I would just rather watch Eastenders

Woman (to security): Ooh you have such a big head... And that hat makes you look like a baker...

Woman 1: Aaah know you know her! Woman 2: Well I do and she's like you and me... Woman 1: She is? Woman 2: Yes she's a little bit german a little bit Flemish a little bit Scandinavian Woman 1: And her husband? Woman 2: Well she's divorced you know... Woman 1: Aw such a shame...

White Man #1: Sorry I didn't see you there in the dark Black Man #2: Hey, I didn't see you in the light...

Man 1: Yes what was how you used to do it? Man 2: It was 2 egg whites in the blender with the protein shake Man 3: Oh yeah that's right. After some pasta... Man 2: Oh no pasta. That's carbs...

Man 1: She gives me evils because I'm dis neo liberal like you know... Man 2: Yeah and wiv your business acumen and that...

Man number one: So how do you get it like that? Man number two: Well the pastry has to be the right consistency...

Italian Man drinking espresso: The cappuccino is forbidden after noon... Man listening: Noon? Italian Man drinking espresso: Yes noon... Man listening: Really? Italian Man drinking espresso: Yes noon. It is really... Forbidden...

Paparazzi #1: I'm trying to help you... Paparazzi #2: You're trying to help me? Paparazzi #1: Yes... Paparazzi #2: ... You're an idiot.

Man #1: So we could have salad for dinner... Man #2: Yeah like lettuce? Man #1: Yeah like lettuce... Lettuce and... Chicken...

Paul: Let the Right One In isn't that scary when you think about it... David: You kidding? I hadn't heard you hyperventilating so much since that aborted landing flying back from Edinburgh... Paul: Well okay... Still the central message of the movie seems to be that everyone needs a guardian angel... Of death...

Gio: I don't think much of their pirate outfits ... Paul: Hmm no but check out the camel toe on the violinist... Gio: Ok come interval we're leaving... Paul: I am finding it strangely intriguing already...

Man #1: Andrew's really nice... Man #2: Yeah? Man #1: And hot... I bet he shags around a lot... Man #2: He's got a boyfriend you know... Man #1: Yeah so?

Man #1: So how is your sister? Man #2: Ah she is just bad news...

Woman on phone (with handsfree): Wellaaavebincallinyou... Wellaahdon'givafuck...