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High anxiety: Collapse - Riverside Studios

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It’s a brave or maybe slightly provocative production to use Hammersmith Bridge on their artwork for a show called Collapse, which is about how everything collapses—poorly maintained bridges, relationships, and jobs. Nothing works. That’s probably too close to home for Hammersmith residents stuck with a magnificently listed and useless bridge on their front door. It gets even weirder when you realise the piece is staged in what looks like a meeting room with a bar. However, keeping things together in the most unlikely of circumstances is at the heart of Allison Moore's witty and engaging four-hander, which is currently having a limited engagement at Riverside Studios . The piece opens with Hannah (Emma Haines) about to get an injection from her husband (Keenan Heinzelmann). They’re struggling for a baby, and he’s struggling to get out of bed. But he managed to give her a shot of hormones before she started worrying about the rest of the day. She’s unsure she will keep her job with ...

Overheard at the gym Tuesday

Man #1: She now has a dog Man #2: What sort? Man #1: It's a poodle. A little one. And I don't want it pissing all over my flat. Man #2: They do that you know. They piss everywhere. And shit...

Overheard at the Affordable Art Fair Sunday...

Woman: Oh yes that's my sort of thing Man: What that? Woman: Yeah that's my sort of thing when I'm talking about abstract landscapes...

Overheard at the supermarket

Woman (arriving at checkout with a lot of greens) : Don't laugh, but I have an unhealthy obsession with cucumbers. Well... I guess it is healthy...

Overheard in a waiting room...

Woman #1: My idea of heaven is walking around a Marks and Spencers... Woman #2: I have been quite fond of walking 'round a Morrison's in the past... Woman #1: Yeah but there just isn't one 'round our way...

Overheard on the bus Sunday

Girl on the telephone : I was like, "Excuse me but what kind of professional goes back and looks at detail like that?" I actually hate him... Just a little bit...

Overheard on the bus Monday evening

Man: There are elements of the play that just allow for those sorts of pathos... Woman: Yes I would have to agree there Man: Of course for other people it would be like oh yeah I would just rather watch Eastenders

Overheard outside the pub Saturday

Woman (to security): Ooh you have such a big head... And that hat makes you look like a baker...

Overheard at Café Nero Saturday

Woman 1: Aaah know you know her! Woman 2: Well I do and she's like you and me... Woman 1: She is? Woman 2: Yes she's a little bit german a little bit Flemish a little bit Scandinavian Woman 1: And her husband? Woman 2: Well she's divorced you know... Woman 1: Aw such a shame...

Overheard at the gym...

White Man #1: Sorry I didn't see you there in the dark Black Man #2: Hey, I didn't see you in the light...

Overheard at the gym Thursday...

Man 1: Yes what was how you used to do it? Man 2: It was 2 egg whites in the blender with the protein shake Man 3: Oh yeah that's right. After some pasta... Man 2: Oh no pasta. That's carbs...

Overheard on the Tube home Tuesday...

Man 1: She gives me evils because I'm dis neo liberal like you know... Man 2: Yeah and wiv your business acumen and that...

Overheard at the gym Thursday...

Man number one: So how do you get it like that? Man number two: Well the pastry has to be the right consistency...

Overheard at Whole Foods High Street Kensington Sunday

Italian Man drinking espresso: The cappuccino is forbidden after noon... Man listening: Noon? Italian Man drinking espresso: Yes noon... Man listening: Really? Italian Man drinking espresso: Yes noon. It is really... Forbidden...

Overheard outside the Ivy London

Paparazzi #1: I'm trying to help you... Paparazzi #2: You're trying to help me? Paparazzi #1: Yes... Paparazzi #2: ... You're an idiot.

Overheard at the gym Friday night...

Man #1: So we could have salad for dinner... Man #2: Yeah like lettuce? Man #1: Yeah like lettuce... Lettuce and... Chicken...

Idle banter at the movies Sunday

Paul: Let the Right One In isn't that scary when you think about it... David: You kidding? I hadn't heard you hyperventilating so much since that aborted landing flying back from Edinburgh... Paul: Well okay... Still the central message of the movie seems to be that everyone needs a guardian angel... Of death...

Idle chatter in the front row at Cadogan Hall Tuesday

Gio: I don't think much of their pirate outfits ... Paul: Hmm no but check out the camel toe on the violinist... Gio: Ok come interval we're leaving... Paul: I am finding it strangely intriguing already...

Overheard at the gay film fest last night...

Man #1: Andrew's really nice... Man #2: Yeah? Man #1: And hot... I bet he shags around a lot... Man #2: He's got a boyfriend you know... Man #1: Yeah so?

Overheard on Brompton Road...

Man #1: So how is your sister? Man #2: Ah she is just bad news...

Overheard in SW9 on the weekend...

Woman on phone (with handsfree): Wellaaavebincallinyou... Wellaahdon'givafuck...