Paul in London

No Christmas is complete nowadays without an adults-only pantomime. These shows don't have to worry about innuendo, they aim right for the crotch. So it’s no surprise that in Pinocchio No Strings Attached at Above The Stag, the young boy has a different growth to deal with when he tells a lie. But despite an amusing premise and a cast that seems eager to please, the piece is overlong and a bit limp. Set in the fictional Italian port side town called, Placenta, Toymaker Gepetta and her lesbian niece are on the run from the law. Gepetta seeking a man in her life inadvertently calls on the local lesbian fairy Fatima who brings her toy... boy to life. Meanwhile, there’s a wealthy evil landlord, Figaro who wants a piece of the action, a cat with a severe fur ball problem and a footballer thinking of coming out of the closet. For a pantomime, it’s surprisingly faithful to many elements of the Pinocchio story. Albeit with gay, lesbian and pantomime dame flavours. But with many pos...

Kitten in Heels, playing at the Lost Theatre , takes the Dick Whittington pantomime and adds lashings of filth and smut. It's a naughty night out where the King Rat bears an unusual resemblance to Theresa May, and Dick's love interests is more interested in buying lemons. But to really appreciate this show you need to be imbued with plenty of Christmas cheer. There is a bar both inside the theatre and outside of it to assist, which may help overlook the slow pacing and the amateurish production. Plenty of audience members were making the most of the bars, but the effect was that they were making their own entertainment.