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Wee liberties: Beauty and The Beast: A Horny Love Story at Charing Cross Theatre

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It may not be a tale as old as time, but it’s still the same old story, almost, with Beauty and the Beast: A Horny Love Story currently playing at the Charing Cross Theatre .  As the title suggests, this is not family holiday entertainment, but neither is it all gay gore. And a surprisingly large number of clever gags, a gorgeous-looking production, costumes, and an ensemble make for a classy night out with the occasional lashing of sluttiness.  It’s been a while since I have seen an adults-only panto. Like many things at the theatre—ticket prices, opening nights, age of social media influencers—things have changed. Happily, things have changed for the better here. The show focuses on assembling an excellent cast. Elaborate costumes by Robert Draper and David Shields’ set pieces help give this adult panto a touch of class. There are the usual lewd jokes and a quick flash of buttocks.   The setting of the story is in the northernmost village of Scotland, Lickmanochers. Not...

Limp Christmas: Pinocchio No Strings Attached @abovethestag

No Christmas is complete nowadays without an adults-only pantomime. These shows don't have to worry about innuendo, they aim right for the crotch. So it’s no surprise that in Pinocchio No Strings Attached at Above The Stag, the young boy has a different growth to deal with when he tells a lie. But despite an amusing premise and a cast that seems eager to please, the piece is overlong and a bit limp.

Set in the fictional Italian port side town called, Placenta, Toymaker Gepetta and her lesbian niece are on the run from the law. Gepetta seeking a man in her life inadvertently calls on the local lesbian fairy Fatima who brings her toy... boy to life. Meanwhile, there’s a wealthy evil landlord, Figaro who wants a piece of the action, a cat with a severe fur ball problem and a footballer thinking of coming out of the closet.

For a pantomime, it’s surprisingly faithful to many elements of the Pinocchio story. Albeit with gay, lesbian and pantomime dame flavours. But with many possibilities - boys turning into donkeys, appendages that grow and lesbian fairies - many of the jokes fall flat, and a distinct lack of sexiness pervades throughout.

Pinocchio’s growing appendage was met with bewilderment rather than mirth.  Looking like a vacuum cleaner hose with a dildo on it probably didn't help. Large chunks of the plot seemed to get in the way of the comedy. Many gags were delivered without much sense of urgency or timing. Other  jokes play on tired European stereotypes which don’t fit well in a show aimed at central London audiences.

Still, it looks terrific with its gorgeous set designs by David Shields, and Christopher Lane is deliciously evil as Figaro. Dami Olukoya as the straight-talking Lesbian fairy is a welcome relief. And since Pinocchio can’t whistle in this story the way he has to summon her is worth a laugh.

Directed by Andrew Beckett, Pinocchio No Strings Attached continues at Above The Stag Theatre until January 11.

⭐️⭐️⭐️

Photos by PGB Studios

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