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Wee liberties: Beauty and The Beast: A Horny Love Story at Charing Cross Theatre

Production photo

It may not be a tale as old as time, but it’s still the same old story, almost, with Beauty and the Beast: A Horny Love Story currently playing at the Charing Cross Theatre.  As the title suggests, this is not family holiday entertainment, but neither is it all gay gore. And a surprisingly large number of clever gags, a gorgeous-looking production, costumes, and an ensemble make for a classy night out with the occasional lashing of sluttiness. 

It’s been a while since I have seen an adults-only panto. Like many things at the theatre—ticket prices, opening nights, age of social media influencers—things have changed. Happily, things have changed for the better here. The show focuses on assembling an excellent cast. Elaborate costumes by Robert Draper and David Shields’ set pieces help give this adult panto a touch of class. There are the usual lewd jokes and a quick flash of buttocks.  

The setting of the story is in the northernmost village of Scotland, Lickmanochers. Not a lot happens there, just like in the neighbouring village, Suckmachoch. There, hero Bertie (Matt Kennedy) longs to meet another gay man just like him. His twin sister, Bonny (Laura Anna-Mead), takes care of the family pump station. At the same time, their mother (Matthew Baldwin as the obligatory pantomime dame), Dame Flora, tries to make ends meet. There’s a villainous owner of the local oil rig (after all, this is Scotland) who may have had a brother turned into a beast by a lesbian enchantress who lives in the nearby mysterious castle. 

Production photo

For reasons true to pantomime logic, the action soon shifts from the remote village to the nearby castle. There, the Beast (Keanu Adolphus Johnson) faces off with Bertie during the Christmas festivities before the  story heads to a grand finale on a giant oil rig, which features a catchy song reminiscent of the Village People.

The production seems to strike the right balance between traditional panto set pieces, topical jokes, and good old songs and dances. Don’t wear your best frock if you don’t want to be hit with a flying scone. And even when some jokes fall flat or the story sags, there’s plenty on stage to look at and admire.

Written by Jon Bradfield and Martin Hooper with songs by Jon Bradfield and directed by Andrew Beckett, Beauty and the Beast: A Horny Love Story continues at the Charing Cross Theatre until 11 January. From the He’s Behind You! team that brought the West End other pantos such as Sleeping Beauty Takes A Prick! and Jack and the Beanstalk: What a Whopper! Next year, they plan to present Cinderella Buttons Undone... 

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Production photo



Photos by Steve Gregson

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