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Bit parts: Garry Starr Performs Everything @swkplay

Garry Starr Performs Everything is a bare-bones (and bare buttocks) tribute to the theatre. Theatre may be in trouble, and audiences are down, but Garry Starr aims to save the theatre and bring back to the masses every style of theatre possible. As long as each style involves wearing a transparent white leotard or a skimpy thong. And tassels. It's part comedy, part physical comedy and part perv at Gary's physical prowess. The sentiment "if you've got it, flaunt it" applies here. So here we are with a show that has been around for some years and is having its first proper London run at the Southwark Playhouse (Borough) through Christmas. The premise is that Garry Starr (played by Damien Warren-Smith) has left the Royal Shakespeare Company over artistic differences. He is now on a mission to save the theatre from misrepresentation and worthy interpretations by doing things such as a two-minute Hamlet, recreating scenes from a Pinter play using unsuspecting audience

Television: Big Brother V George

Celebrity Big Brother finished tonight with the winner being the only non-celebrity in the house. The choice of winner was easy really since she was the only slightly human person in the freakshow of has-beens desperately trying to kick-start their careers that were assembled in the house.

Still the highlight of the series will be the participation from rabid loony left-wing politician George Galloway. While in the Big Brother house he impersonated a pussy, danced around in a red leotard and basically showed he was a bit of a slimeball. It was fantastic act of political suicide and at last evidence that reality television is a force for good in the world.

George says he has no regrets about his involvement in the show, but already this week cat food has been delivered to his house and office twice. Unless he was setting himself up for a career in Puss in Boots in the Christmas Pantomimes it would have to be one of the great political miscalculations of the year.

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