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Bit parts: Garry Starr Performs Everything @swkplay

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Garry Starr Performs Everything is a bare-bones (and bare buttocks) tribute to the theatre. Theatre may be in trouble, and audiences are down, but Garry Starr aims to save the theatre and bring back to the masses every style of theatre possible. As long as each style involves wearing a transparent white leotard or a skimpy thong. And tassels. It's part comedy, part physical comedy and part perv at Gary's physical prowess. The sentiment "if you've got it, flaunt it" applies here. So here we are with a show that has been around for some years and is having its first proper London run at the Southwark Playhouse (Borough) through Christmas. The premise is that Garry Starr (played by Damien Warren-Smith) has left the Royal Shakespeare Company over artistic differences. He is now on a mission to save the theatre from misrepresentation and worthy interpretations by doing things such as a two-minute Hamlet, recreating scenes from a Pinter play using unsuspecting audience
Weather changes

Weather today was misty, wet and cold. What happened to Spring? Given the lousy weather I decided to skip gym and come home early.

It was not related to:

  • Catching up with old flatmates from Haringey and having three or four (or possibly five) Becks over the course of the afternoon
  • Flatmates wanted all the gory details of the breakup but I just said there weren't any. "When somebody just can't stand the sight of you anymore you know it isn't all about you... So just move on" I told them. Have made mental note to include that line in any future book on postmodern advice that I may write...
  • Staying out extra longer with the guy who took the room after me. Wasn't quick enough to make silly jokes about "sharing the same bed"... This was probably not a bad thing
  • Heading out again around 11pm to catch up with a nice Jewish boy from California in Central London. This time it was vodka.

It was all very responsible (and quite enjoyable at the time) but I figured an early night in would help.

I was relating all this to my colleague at work and she seemed a little surprised. She had been relating stories to me over the past week so I figured I would return the favour.

Although it was a lot tamer than her stories... Last week while she was out a man sent a picture message of his penis to her which she was shocked about. She was shocked that somebody would do that, but also because it looked so darn good. I reassured her that in these technologically sophisticated times these are the way it is. Whether it is Bluejacking, toothing or picture messaging, it is all making the dating process far more expedient. Besides, a dinner date was no longer necessary. The downside was that he never rang over the long weekend so on Easter Monday she sent the picture back to him with the words "you can have it back".

And so it goes... Easter weekends can be so cruel... Actually I have noted of late that the level of professionalism has declined amongst my colleagues, but what the hell...

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