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Bit parts: Garry Starr Performs Everything @swkplay

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Garry Starr Performs Everything is a bare-bones (and bare buttocks) tribute to the theatre. Theatre may be in trouble, and audiences are down, but Garry Starr aims to save the theatre and bring back to the masses every style of theatre possible. As long as each style involves wearing a transparent white leotard or a skimpy thong. And tassels. It's part comedy, part physical comedy and part perv at Gary's physical prowess. The sentiment "if you've got it, flaunt it" applies here. So here we are with a show that has been around for some years and is having its first proper London run at the Southwark Playhouse (Borough) through Christmas. The premise is that Garry Starr (played by Damien Warren-Smith) has left the Royal Shakespeare Company over artistic differences. He is now on a mission to save the theatre from misrepresentation and worthy interpretations by doing things such as a two-minute Hamlet, recreating scenes from a Pinter play using unsuspecting audience

News: Bicycling

Rabid cyclists are an everyday hazzard on London roads and footpaths. If they aren't trying to run you down while you're crossing the road, they are attempting to steal your mobile while you're talking on it and walking down Clapham High Street.

Now there is a plan to teach cyclists and drivers not to jump red lights... Next year there will be a plan to teach drivers that the green light thingy means it is safe to proceed... In the longer term there is a plan to teach drivers how to drive down a street without clipping the external mirrors on parked cars...

Of course silly cycle stories pale in comparison to the news of Steve Irwin's death, which promoted a flurry of tributes on websites including one on a BBC newsgroup which said, "He will be truly mist and never forgotten for his dangerous moves on camera with animals..." Crikey indeed...

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