Things to do in London this week...

1. Look in vain for signs of biodiversity in SW4. Only in central London could it be possible to have no sounds of insects or birds in summer.  Mind you I saw a man attacked on the tube tonight by Mothra (it must have been an attack given he leapt out his seat when the moth fluttered near him)… But I don't think that counts…


2. Take part in a water pistol assassination… It would be small relief from the temperatures and smog…


3. Check out Hampstead Heath for unemployed men from Brighton. I hear it’s a popular pastime in NW3…


4. Drop by at Soho Pride on Sunday. The one day of the year when Westminster Council allows the streets of Soho to be what they should be all year round – pedestrianised… Then again this is the same council that earlier this year finally decided flying a flag from a building did not need planning permission.