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Bit parts: Garry Starr Performs Everything @swkplay

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Garry Starr Performs Everything is a bare-bones (and bare buttocks) tribute to the theatre. Theatre may be in trouble, and audiences are down, but Garry Starr aims to save the theatre and bring back to the masses every style of theatre possible. As long as each style involves wearing a transparent white leotard or a skimpy thong. And tassels. It's part comedy, part physical comedy and part perv at Gary's physical prowess. The sentiment "if you've got it, flaunt it" applies here. So here we are with a show that has been around for some years and is having its first proper London run at the Southwark Playhouse (Borough) through Christmas. The premise is that Garry Starr (played by Damien Warren-Smith) has left the Royal Shakespeare Company over artistic differences. He is now on a mission to save the theatre from misrepresentation and worthy interpretations by doing things such as a two-minute Hamlet, recreating scenes from a Pinter play using unsuspecting audience

News: Stoned and gathering Moss

Kate Moss stories this week have been fascinating. While we are all relieved to know that she wasn't so low-brow as to do crack, as more and more labels are dropping her, more dirt is being dug up on her hoovering up the cocaine before switching to ketamine. So that's how she can take listening to the Babyshambles… The images of cocaine Kate have been tightly controlled by the mirror but Gawker has an interesting take on it all before the Mirror's lawyers stepped in.

One suspects that the Met Police is more interested in this story than in the past as the current police commissioner is keen to focus on middle-class drug users… Moss is not getting off as easy as when resident toff and former Squidgy-lover James Hewitt was let off with a warning over cocaine use.

On a more sanguine note, St John Ambulance is hoping that London poddies will take advantage of first aid tips that can be downloaded to your iPOD. Another post-July must-have download perhaps…

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